This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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