Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
