peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
she smelled like a LAN party
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
