WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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