so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
