Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I am available for nakedness
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
