Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
