used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
