you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize