so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
