some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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