I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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