i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
