when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
