Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
