physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
