I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
