so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
