is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
