Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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