Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
