Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
