Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
