Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
