Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize