Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Randomize
