And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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