I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
