You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
