So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
