Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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