i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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