make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
