You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
