You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
