It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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