seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
