I murdered the dance floor call the cops
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
