i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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