no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
