I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
