I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
