i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
