You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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