You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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