he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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