Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I would fuck him just for his dog
He did a backflip because drugs
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