Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
