A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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