Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I bet he comes in French.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
