I feel great
I just peed on a car
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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