Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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