How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
