great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
