you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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